Stop second guessing yourself.

I’m constantly second guessing myself and I am constantly reminding myself to cut the shit.

We live in a day in age where everyone thinks that they know what’s best and what’s the worst. We live in an era where judging is normal and support is rare. We feel pressured by our parents, our spouses, friends, frenemies, strangers and the list goes on, without even realizing it half of the time.

It’s always a battle of “mom guilt” and we wonder why we are constantly asking ourselves if we are doing a good enough job! We are asking ourselves this because we feel like we are under scrutiny. It’s the social media, it’s the reality television, it’s the world around us today.

I would go out for drinks with the girls and wonder, if I post that I’m out will others judge me and wonder where my daughter is! If I post myself in denim cut offs will I be criticized for them being too low? What should I post that will not raise a question to others?

It’s all absolute B.S.

I’ll let you in on a little secret, I have seven tattoos and I use to literally edit one of them out. I use to look at it in photos when I first started out and say, oh no no, it has to go. I’m not myself happy with it and do want it removed but the fact that I felt the need to edit it out to feel accepted by my peers on social media was a red flag. A red flag that I needed to figure out why I was seeking this need to “fit in” & what what I trying to even fit into.

Anywho, noticed everyone else was showing off their body art and I said, jeez Ash what the heck were you so scared of. That’s when I decided to just always be me. I swear sometime, I ramble, I dress in what I want to and share what I feel. It’s not picture perfect but letting others completely influence you to not be you is not the purpose of this platform. It’s to influence you and allow you to be the best you.

I have to say about a handful of times a day, seven days a week, I watch stories or read posts on Instagram and Twitter that read something along the lines of mom guilt.

Did I do enough today for my children?

Was I present enough today for my family?

Am I working as hard or as often as my neighbor?

Should I be doing more food prep or healthy eating?

Are my kids reading and learning the right things?

Does my spouse feel supported?

I think that these could all be normal things we ask ourselves if they were solely based on our feeling and not in comparison to what we see on social media. Although I don’t want to sit here and bash these platforms because they provide a space for emotion, creativity and so much more. However, I think that we need to learn to sign in and stay confident in who we are as mothers, spouses, children and so forth.

At the end of the day, we are all still learning. Every day we will either succeed in the day or we will accept defeat and then the next day, learn from it.

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